you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
