apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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