atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
