You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize