my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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