just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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