Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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