At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
