I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
