Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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