One girl and one boy is just not enough.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
