No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Pants are for mortals
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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