Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
