i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The feeling are messing with the penis
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
