idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
where are you?
Hypothermia
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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