we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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