this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
