We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
