We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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