Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
