It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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