I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
