I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
