We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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