I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
