If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
