420 ftw
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
