sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
