yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
