You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
