Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
