I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
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I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think your dad took our porno
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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