I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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