sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize
