Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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