Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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