oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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