You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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