I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
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We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
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It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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