i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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