its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He shit in the fireplace
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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