We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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