My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Fuck appropriateness.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
