We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
