? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
