I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
