Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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