when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
