ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize