I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
