I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
