just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize