i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
