Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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