We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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