Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Randomize
