laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
