You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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