she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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