Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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