you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
