In the future we'll all be gay
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Oh god it's open bar.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
