Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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