Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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