I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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