she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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