There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
