Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
