He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
