He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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