i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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