id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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